How to change? A guideline to becoming the you that you thought was impossible
How often, even as Christians, do we say I’ll try and be better? When there’s a habit that you need to kick, you say, “Okay, I’ll try to kick it.” How often do we look at something and maybe see that it needs to change and think to ourselves, “Okay, well, I guess there’s something else I’m adding to the list that I need to change”?
When we see some of the things in the bible about how we need to live, like caring for the poor. Loving our neighbors and blessing our enemies. When we see things like being thankful in times of suffering, it’s an opportunity to grow. When we see things like being willing to suffer for the cross. When we see the list of behaviors that need to change. That’s a long list that can feel exhausting when you make a mental note and think to yourself, okay, well, one by one, I guess I need to change these to be a good Christian.
That’s not how the change happens. That’s how you fail to change. That is not a sustainable reality. That thinking and approach cause us to miss the heart of the gospel. Ultimately, that might lead us to think it’s not real, or to think the promise isn’t as great as people say. Maybe a bit of doubt remains about the promise the bible makes as well. Maybe you even think that the ones who don’t mind all the rules are people who are more boring, because how can anyone live a fun life with a set of rules like that?
The whole point that Jesus came and died on that cross was to set us FREE. Not another set of chains painted a different color and made from nylon instead of metal. So if all those behaviors and rules are there for us, how do we get to the freedom part?
We get to know God and Jesus first. Who is God? Who is His Son? Who is His Spirit? That’s when you start to see how He LOVES you. Not as the changed person. As the person who can’t seem to change. Sometimes, honestly, you just might not want to. It’s because you don’t understand WHY it’s worth it. You have to look for Him to find the truth. Once you understand His love, you will be able to see yourself.
That’s when you see that you are a sinner and you can’t do it by yourself. That’s when you realize the list of things you need to change all by yourself will never happen, even though you plan for it to. The reality is, you can’t give yourself a new heart. The changes that need to happen come from a new heart and a different person.
When you seek God first, He can come and meet you. When we go to Him, He will show us, in love, what we need to change and why. He’ll help us understand why we need to give up some things. Why will we need to sacrifice certain things? Why some relationships will need to fade.
Most of all, because we are seeking Him and doing things with His guidance and understanding, it will still be difficult a lot of the time, as the devil doesn’t want us to change and resists the temptation, but it will be easier than it would’ve been without Him.
I can’t say it enough, though, it’s not the change that will happen first. It’s God in our lives, first, that will bring about change. Genesis 1:1 “in the beginning God”. It wasn’t in the beginning that the heavens and the earth were. It wasn’t in the beginning light. It wasn’t in the beginning; goodness existed. “In the beginning God”. God was first. He came before all the change. He came before all the creation. He came before our sin. He came before our freedom. He was first hated. He set the standard first. He was the first human sacrifice for humanity.
When we seek Him first, he will guide us. He will meet us where we are. We will have the choice, then, whether, in obedience, we will walk the road of change. The difference, though? We are not alone. It is not in our own strength. The peace, the love, and the joy that will be there are by-products of our first seeking Him.
So beautifully simple in design. So crushing for our pride. To realize we are not good enough on our own. Our own efforts are not enough. We don’t have the capacity to be good Christians and follow all the rules and live within the white lines.
When we do it His way, we experience the world as He intended. You will start to realize that fun looks different, but it’s way more satisfying than the original picture you had in mind. The pride that you have to work so hard to beat down into surrender, well, it gets replaced with the quiet strength that comes from knowing you’ve won, because “If God is for you, who can be against you?” No one can offend you. Because you have a relationship with the creator of all things, and when you read His word, you know what is important and right or wrong, and you know what He thinks about you. So what is the opinion of but a mere man?
What could be more valuable than knowing the truth with absolute certainty? What could be more freeing?
Is this journey an easy one? NO. Could you change everything and be at peace, and be loving, and work, and be a good husband/wife/mom/person, and…and…and easily and by yourself? NO. No one can.
No one can reach the fullness of their potential without the capacity that the Lord gives them. That’s the humbling reality. Do some people have more capacity than others? Yes. We are all made differently. Of course, that will carry through to the purpose that God has for you. Every single one of us could be used if we chose God. He already chose us when His Son died on that cross in the most horrific way.
Are there rules and guidelines for us to live by once we’re saved and we’re changed beings? Yes. These are not the fun police guidelines. It’s not the rulebook of boring anonymous. These guidelines are ultimately in place to help us keep our eyes on God after we’ve chosen Him. They are there so that we can accurately represent Him to those who haven’t chosen Him.
How can they see His goodness in us if we haven’t made the change that only His love can do? If we don’t live differently, then we will be the same as those who haven’t met Him, or chosen Him, or believe in Him. Then how can we say He is good? Or that He is loving.
If we ignore the guidelines, we will probably go back to who we were before we chose Him. Not because He leaves us, but because we chose to keep doing or go back to what we did before. We are not strong enough on our own to resist temptations that we have spent years, if not decades, giving in to.
The devil doesn’t leave us alone because we choose God. He leaves us alone when we don’t. That means that you will feel that you’re faced with more temptations when you are walking the road with the Lord. You’ll feel more challenged. Sometimes you’ll feel like you’re between a rock and a hard place. That feeling, though, is a lie. You have God with you, right there. He’s asking you to choose Him because He’s got something deeper than whatever the satisfaction of the temptation is.
The devil wants you to believe the happiness he gives is true. The devil can only give you the feeling of happiness, which is fickle. God gives you contentment. The devil will give you escape. God will give you peace in the chaos. The devil will try to show you, through all your friends, how lonely you’ll be without them. God will show you that you will never be alone because of Him.
Whatever you think the fear and reason are behind, I’ll try to be better on my own. Try to be honest about why you don’t want to do it with someone. Especially when that someone is the God who has already won the battle?
“If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.” Jeremiah 29:13
“But from there you will search again for the Lord your God. And if you search for him with all your heart and soul, you will find him.” Deuteronomy 4:29
He tells us that if we choose Him and seek Him with all our hearts, we WILL find him. There are no games. There isn’t some power play. There isn’t an ABC list of things we need to tick off before we can come to Him. Not anymore. We can seek Him, and we will find Him. The only catch is that it has to be with all your heart.
Where do we find Him and seek Him? In His Word. The bible. The bible isn’t just the history of the church and the genealogy about how the Jewish family lines came about. It’s not even a story about the Jews. The bible is the book about God. Who He is. His heart. What He’s like. Not what all the different people say (I’m not saying there aren’t good teachers, because there are, and they can help you understand the bible). There will never be anything that can show you who God is, like His book for us.
If you want to start and you don’t know where to begin, it’s the best place to start. Ask God to reveal Himself to you as you read His biography.
Maybe your faith feels dead, or you feel like God is far away? When we draw near to Him, He promises us we will find Him.
We don’t grow in comfortable circumstances. So it will be uncomfortable. At least it won’t be as frustrating as trying to change and not being able to because you can’t be the person you dream of being all by yourself.
Be encouraged.
God bless.
